Everything is working around here again, our internet is up and running and our telephones are ringing. :)
So this is the last post in what turned out to be a small series on some of the struggles I've been having with being a stay at home mom. This last part isn't so much of a social type struggle, as the other two have been, it's more of a mental struggle.
Up until a few months before I had L, I was always working and going to school. Well, since I was sixteen, at least, I didn't have a proper job before that, I just babysat regularly. But, I got my first real job about a month after I turned sixteen and then proceeded to work and go to school for ten years until I had L. I even had a stint where I worked two jobs - a day job and a night job - and went to school full time. In May of 2007 I graduated from college and in July I quit my job. What a change that has been for me.
I was certainly ready for it, though, as I was thoroughly exhausted and burnt out with all the work and school. This past year has been wonderful in that it has been really nice to have a break from all of that. Lately, though, my poor brain misses being used in that regard. I miss having intellectual pursuits, solving problems, reading challenging material, constantly improving my job processes, just all around being mentally stimulated, I guess.
This struggle, however, has an easy answer, unlike the previous two. There are lots of things I can do to mentally challenge myself, but my favorite is reading. I've always loved reading, it has been one of my favorite hobbies for as long as I can remember, but it had been challenging to keep up with it since L was born. I'm really making time for it now, as it is doing such good things for my mood and overall outlook. Also, I'm considering signing up for an online grammar refresher course through my local community college. I know that probably doesn't sound very exciting to most of you, but it does to me (I've just outed myself as a huge dork, haven't I?), and it's through their community education department which makes it much more laid back than a regular college course - perfect for me right now.
In case you're interested, these are the books I've been reading lately:
Got any good books to recommend for me?
Friday, August 29, 2008
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Lightening!
No, I'm not talking about this lightening, I'm talking about real lightening! A tropical storm hovered over my state last week, drenching us with tons of rain, keeping babies from their naps with lots of very loud thunder, throwing branches into our yard with the heavy winds, and killing electronic equipment with the brilliant flashes of lightening. During one of the storms that came through over the weekend, our backyard was struck by lightening! It was one of the brightest things I have ever seen, and was so incredibly loud, and it scared the crap out of me! :)
Anyway, apparently it sent electricity coursing through our house because a bunch of light bulbs were blown out, our wireless router was fried, our dvd player is dead and the phone lines (which we use for our dsl) haven't been working right since. The phone company is supposed to be out today to fix things, hopefully, as all we've had in the way of internet is dial-up and we aren't getting incoming phone calls reliably, either.
Such fun!
Anyway, apparently it sent electricity coursing through our house because a bunch of light bulbs were blown out, our wireless router was fried, our dvd player is dead and the phone lines (which we use for our dsl) haven't been working right since. The phone company is supposed to be out today to fix things, hopefully, as all we've had in the way of internet is dial-up and we aren't getting incoming phone calls reliably, either.
Such fun!
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Struggles, part 2
Although the job I had before L was born was not ideal in many respects, I had been there for six years and had many friendships, some of which were very close. Although I am still friends with these women, our relationships have changed, mostly because of the simple fact that I am not there with them all day long anymore. And although I would still make the same decision today that I did when I left my job, I certainly do mourn the loss of what those friendships were when I was working.
I think that this part of the transition to being a stay at home mom has been even harder for me than just the general "I've got nobody to talk to all day" deal. Because this is more, this is the loss of not just some random person to talk to, it's the loss of certain people with whom certain things can be shared. Things that you wouldn't share with just anybody. It is compounded, I guess, with the "I've got nobody to talk to all day" deal. Not only can you not share just any old thing, thoughts on the weather or the news, but you can't share those things that really need to be shared - struggles, joys, hopes, pain - the intimate details of who you are as a person.
A lot of that is my fault - during the first six months or so after L was born, I hunkered down, I didn't go out very much, and I didn't make much effort to keep those friendships alive. I was consumed with my baby and learning to be a mother. Now that I have emerged from my self-imposed hiatus from most other aspects of life, I am trying to rebuild those relationships, but still, those ladies work all day and so again, there is my issue. I miss having the opportunity to talk to them at any point throughout my day.
Of course, there is also the fact that I just miss them. I just plain miss those folks, I miss seeing their faces, hearing their laughs, talking about their kids, their hubbys, their lives. I miss grabbing lunch together, studying the Bible together, celebrating all their birthdays, congratulating them on their accomplishments, just being with them as friends.
It's been hard for me to go from being surrounded by good friends all day long, five days a week, to having nobody to talk to all day long, five days a week. I'm not sure that there is really any remedy for it either, save putting L in daycare and going back to work - which I won't do. So that makes it hard, too, knowing that there really isn't a solution, it's just something that I'm going to have to learn to deal with. And I am. I'm not depressed all the time or hating my life or anything like that. Just feeling a little down lately about all this.
There's still a little bit more to all this that I'll try to finish up in one more post. Sorry to be such a downer right now, but I know I can't be the only one out there dealing with this kind of thing and maybe it will help somebody else who might come along and read this. Plus, I feel better already, just from getting it out. Thanks for listening and sticking with me my friends!
I think that this part of the transition to being a stay at home mom has been even harder for me than just the general "I've got nobody to talk to all day" deal. Because this is more, this is the loss of not just some random person to talk to, it's the loss of certain people with whom certain things can be shared. Things that you wouldn't share with just anybody. It is compounded, I guess, with the "I've got nobody to talk to all day" deal. Not only can you not share just any old thing, thoughts on the weather or the news, but you can't share those things that really need to be shared - struggles, joys, hopes, pain - the intimate details of who you are as a person.
A lot of that is my fault - during the first six months or so after L was born, I hunkered down, I didn't go out very much, and I didn't make much effort to keep those friendships alive. I was consumed with my baby and learning to be a mother. Now that I have emerged from my self-imposed hiatus from most other aspects of life, I am trying to rebuild those relationships, but still, those ladies work all day and so again, there is my issue. I miss having the opportunity to talk to them at any point throughout my day.
Of course, there is also the fact that I just miss them. I just plain miss those folks, I miss seeing their faces, hearing their laughs, talking about their kids, their hubbys, their lives. I miss grabbing lunch together, studying the Bible together, celebrating all their birthdays, congratulating them on their accomplishments, just being with them as friends.
It's been hard for me to go from being surrounded by good friends all day long, five days a week, to having nobody to talk to all day long, five days a week. I'm not sure that there is really any remedy for it either, save putting L in daycare and going back to work - which I won't do. So that makes it hard, too, knowing that there really isn't a solution, it's just something that I'm going to have to learn to deal with. And I am. I'm not depressed all the time or hating my life or anything like that. Just feeling a little down lately about all this.
There's still a little bit more to all this that I'll try to finish up in one more post. Sorry to be such a downer right now, but I know I can't be the only one out there dealing with this kind of thing and maybe it will help somebody else who might come along and read this. Plus, I feel better already, just from getting it out. Thanks for listening and sticking with me my friends!
Struggles
Well, apparently all I had to do to get the juices flowing again was to admit that I was having some problems writing, because here I am the very next day with a new post.
One of the things that has been rolling around in my head but has proven to be difficult to get out, is the isolation of being a stay at home mom. Or rather, the isolation I feel as a stay at home mom. Maybe not all stay at home moms feel this way, I don't know. But I do. Now let me say that I'm terribly happy to be able to be home with L all day, and as long as I have a choice in the matter, this is what I will do. I know there are so many women out there who would love to be in my shoes. I know that. I know I'm blessed to be in my position and I don't want to seem ungrateful. Also, I hope I don't have to point out that I love being with my daughter and she is one of the greatest joys of my life.
However, there are positives and negatives to every situation. So, while I wouldn't want to go back to working outside the home, there are some definite drawbacks to being a stay at home mom. And a big one, for me anyway, is the social isolation.
Even though I have quite a few friends that have small children and are also able to stay home with them, L and I spend the majority of our days together, just the two of us. Sometimes I miss having adult conversations about adult things using adult words. Sometimes I miss discussing an engaging book I'm reading, or the recent news stories, or just anything, really, with another adult who can talk back to me.
It's hard to spend so much time without another person to talk to. And poor hubby. I sometimes find that I've saved up all my thoughts during the day and unleash them upon him the moment he walks in the door. The fact that he needs a bit of time to unwind from his day escapes me sometimes. :)
Making this even more difficult is the fact that I've tried going to "mom's groups" and it just doesn't do it for me. Trying to make small talk with somebody I don't know and have nothing in common with, save for the small children in our laps, is difficult for me. Incredibly awkward, really, and it's just never been something I've been good at or enjoyed. I'm much better at meeting people through other people, since most of the time it's much more likely that you'll have at least a few things in common, and there just seems to already be a connection. There is the added advantage of having a third person carry the conversation when you and the new acquaintance begin to stare at your feet. :)
Anyway, I've been struggling with this a bit lately. There is more to it and I will share that with you in another post(s). But right now, I need to make some time for my friends in the computer as I haven't ventured to your blogs in too long.
One of the things that has been rolling around in my head but has proven to be difficult to get out, is the isolation of being a stay at home mom. Or rather, the isolation I feel as a stay at home mom. Maybe not all stay at home moms feel this way, I don't know. But I do. Now let me say that I'm terribly happy to be able to be home with L all day, and as long as I have a choice in the matter, this is what I will do. I know there are so many women out there who would love to be in my shoes. I know that. I know I'm blessed to be in my position and I don't want to seem ungrateful. Also, I hope I don't have to point out that I love being with my daughter and she is one of the greatest joys of my life.
However, there are positives and negatives to every situation. So, while I wouldn't want to go back to working outside the home, there are some definite drawbacks to being a stay at home mom. And a big one, for me anyway, is the social isolation.
Even though I have quite a few friends that have small children and are also able to stay home with them, L and I spend the majority of our days together, just the two of us. Sometimes I miss having adult conversations about adult things using adult words. Sometimes I miss discussing an engaging book I'm reading, or the recent news stories, or just anything, really, with another adult who can talk back to me.
It's hard to spend so much time without another person to talk to. And poor hubby. I sometimes find that I've saved up all my thoughts during the day and unleash them upon him the moment he walks in the door. The fact that he needs a bit of time to unwind from his day escapes me sometimes. :)
Making this even more difficult is the fact that I've tried going to "mom's groups" and it just doesn't do it for me. Trying to make small talk with somebody I don't know and have nothing in common with, save for the small children in our laps, is difficult for me. Incredibly awkward, really, and it's just never been something I've been good at or enjoyed. I'm much better at meeting people through other people, since most of the time it's much more likely that you'll have at least a few things in common, and there just seems to already be a connection. There is the added advantage of having a third person carry the conversation when you and the new acquaintance begin to stare at your feet. :)
Anyway, I've been struggling with this a bit lately. There is more to it and I will share that with you in another post(s). But right now, I need to make some time for my friends in the computer as I haven't ventured to your blogs in too long.
Labels:
homemaking,
parenting
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
So Funky
I'm in a funk, yall. I have a lot on my mind, a lot I could write about, but I just can't seem to get started. Maybe a case of blogger's block? I don't know. I'm going to take the rest of this week off and see if I can't get my juices flowing again. Sorry for being absent so much lately, from my blog and from all of yours.
Hopefully I'll be back soon. With a vengeance. Or at least a new post or two.
Hopefully I'll be back soon. With a vengeance. Or at least a new post or two.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Sickness
Sorry for the lack of posts around here this week, L has been sick. I'll be back next week, ok?
Have a great weekend everyone!
Have a great weekend everyone!
Monday, August 11, 2008
Menu Plan Monday 8-11-08
It's Monday and since I actually got my menu planning done this weekend (which I failed to do last weekend), I thought I'd share it with you. Looks to be a yummy week at our house!
Sunday - Veggie soup with whatever left over veggies we happen to have laying around, salad and bread (this recipe really is so easy and quick, plus they turn out great every time I make them).
Monday - Greek pasta with tomatoes and white beans, salad and bread. This pasta dish is so delicious and spinach is on sale this week so it was an easy choice.
Tuesday - Double cheese chili, cooked veggies and biscuits. The chili recipe is a staple in our house, we usually have it every few weeks or so. It's so quick and easy, we just love it. Since hubby is a vegetarian, we use soy crumbles instead of ground beef.
Wednesday - Pita sprout sandwiches and tater tots. Hubby's request, he loves frozen french fries and tater tots. :) For the sandwiches, we'll use sprouts, cheese, tomatoes, olives, pickles, chickpeas and whatever else we have laying around that sounds good.
Thursday - Tacos and Spanish rice. Yum, one of my favorite meals.
Friday - Bow-ties with spinach and cherry tomatoes, cooked veggies and bread. We made this last week and it was fantastic, plus as I said earlier, spinach is one sale this week, so we're using it twice.
Saturday - We'll probably eat out or eat up leftovers on Saturday.
What is your family eating this week? Any tasty recipes you'd like to share? For more ideas, head over to OrgJunkie.com
Labels:
food
Thursday, August 07, 2008
The Bloggest Loser Check In # 3
Yay! I finally get to post a (mostly) positive report.
This past week I actually exercised four times! Go me! None of it was hardcore or anything, but it was exercise and I did do it so I'm proud of myself for that. My goal for this week is to exercise 3 - 4 times again but for longer stretches.
I also ate much better this week than I did last week - no cake or fried chicken! We had meals with lots of veggies, protein and fiber and I drank quite a bit of water, too. My goal for next week in this area is to just keep the healthier eating up and to cut out the 11:00 pm snacks. I know it's terrible for me to snack right before I go to bed, it's a bad habit I've had since being pregnant, and I think now is a good time to try to cut that out.
Now for the not so positive news; I gained back that pound I lost and even added an extra half a pound, too. I was disappointed when I got on the scale this week, but I think it was the bad eating last week that did me in, so I'm confident that won't happen again this week.
So, this week I'm going to keep up exercising and eating healthier and make an attempt to not snack past 10:00 pm. I'll let you know how I do next week.
This past week I actually exercised four times! Go me! None of it was hardcore or anything, but it was exercise and I did do it so I'm proud of myself for that. My goal for this week is to exercise 3 - 4 times again but for longer stretches.
I also ate much better this week than I did last week - no cake or fried chicken! We had meals with lots of veggies, protein and fiber and I drank quite a bit of water, too. My goal for next week in this area is to just keep the healthier eating up and to cut out the 11:00 pm snacks. I know it's terrible for me to snack right before I go to bed, it's a bad habit I've had since being pregnant, and I think now is a good time to try to cut that out.
Now for the not so positive news; I gained back that pound I lost and even added an extra half a pound, too. I was disappointed when I got on the scale this week, but I think it was the bad eating last week that did me in, so I'm confident that won't happen again this week.
So, this week I'm going to keep up exercising and eating healthier and make an attempt to not snack past 10:00 pm. I'll let you know how I do next week.
Labels:
health
Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Wednesday Wanderings
The funniest birth story I've ever seen over at Finslippy. Seriously, I laughed out loud while reading this.
Yum, this end of summer casserole from Simple Mom is going to be on our menu very soon.
I loved this post from Urban Servant (via Amy's Humble Musings) and this post at Welcome To My Brain about parenting.
I also loved this Life Lessons post from Mrs. Fussypants.
Have you found any great links this week?
Yum, this end of summer casserole from Simple Mom is going to be on our menu very soon.
I loved this post from Urban Servant (via Amy's Humble Musings) and this post at Welcome To My Brain about parenting.
I also loved this Life Lessons post from Mrs. Fussypants.
Have you found any great links this week?
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Frustration
Oh my gosh, have we hit the terrible two's early? L has been a ball of frustration the last few days and has been erupting into small tantrums. She gets frustrated at the things she wants to do but can't, like reaching the handle on doors or putting her shoes on herself. She gets frustrated because we won't let her roll around on the changing table. She gets frustrated because she sometimes has to walk around the dogs since they're horrible and mean (just joking!) and won't always move for her. She gets frustrated because she can't open all the drawers and cabinets in the house.
With the frustration comes the tears, big alligator tears, spilling from her eyes as she pleads with me to fix whatever is wrong with the situation, sometimes signing 'help' over and over again. I help her with the things that I can, but in those instances where she's just not going to be able to do what she wants, a tantrum usually comes along. She'll ball up her little fists and get red in the face and cry and wave her arms around angrily. It's really pretty cute, although I try to make sure she doesn't see me smiling.
I'll scoop her up, or get down on her level and give her a hug, explaining that I know she's frustrated, but sometimes we just can't have everything we want. Or I'll distract her with something far more interesting that whatever it is she was focused on. The tantrums pass quickly, and in a minute or two she's back to being her normal cheery self. But goodness, I can't help but think we're really going to be in for it if the tantrums are starting already. At least they're easily diffused, I guess. And she's not throwing herself on the floor, thrashing about, screaming at the top of her lungs. So that's a positive, too.
How many more years am I going to be dealing with these? What's that you say? Kids usually outgrow the tantruming phase about six weeks after they start? Awesome. Thanks internets for making me feel better!
Seriously, though, what has been your experience with tantruming children?
With the frustration comes the tears, big alligator tears, spilling from her eyes as she pleads with me to fix whatever is wrong with the situation, sometimes signing 'help' over and over again. I help her with the things that I can, but in those instances where she's just not going to be able to do what she wants, a tantrum usually comes along. She'll ball up her little fists and get red in the face and cry and wave her arms around angrily. It's really pretty cute, although I try to make sure she doesn't see me smiling.
I'll scoop her up, or get down on her level and give her a hug, explaining that I know she's frustrated, but sometimes we just can't have everything we want. Or I'll distract her with something far more interesting that whatever it is she was focused on. The tantrums pass quickly, and in a minute or two she's back to being her normal cheery self. But goodness, I can't help but think we're really going to be in for it if the tantrums are starting already. At least they're easily diffused, I guess. And she's not throwing herself on the floor, thrashing about, screaming at the top of her lungs. So that's a positive, too.
How many more years am I going to be dealing with these? What's that you say? Kids usually outgrow the tantruming phase about six weeks after they start? Awesome. Thanks internets for making me feel better!
Seriously, though, what has been your experience with tantruming children?
Sunday, August 03, 2008
Wonderful News
One of my very good friends, B, whom I have written about before and who graciously answered all my questions for these two c-section posts, is expecting her second baby. I am so pleased for her and her family, it is just wonderful news.
The new little one will be joining her big sister K sometime in April. When I found out early yesterday morning I was up with L waiting for her to fall back asleep. My plan was to go back to bed as well, but once I heard the news I was too excited to sleep.
Things like diapers and baby carriers and sibling relationships and is this baby a boy or a girl kept running through my mind. And for about ten seconds I thought to myself, it would be so nice to have a new little baby of my own. Then I remembered that I haven't gotten a full night sleep in over two years, and came back to reality.
Things like diapers and baby carriers and sibling relationships and is this baby a boy or a girl kept running through my mind. And for about ten seconds I thought to myself, it would be so nice to have a new little baby of my own. Then I remembered that I haven't gotten a full night sleep in over two years, and came back to reality.
So, congratulations B! Hubby and I are so happy for you guys!
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